Coaching can often seem too abstract for many of the men I work with and one of the questions I get asked is, “What kind of men get a coach?”
Instead of thinking in terms of a type of man, I prefer to think of it as a man past a certain point in a continuum of development.
Here is what I mean.
First let me address the elephant in the room - coaching is a luxury. It is a first world solution to clarity and speed of results. A person doesn’t need a coach to survive. We’ve survived since the beginning of time without coaches. A person doesn’t need a coach to succeed. This is evident by the many of seemingly successful men in our society that have achieved their success without coaches.
A man who wants to grow and thrive usually leverages the value a coach can bring to speed up his results and uncover areas of impact that they never available to them. This helps create impact that is both deep and wide reaching. Because growth and not ego is the driver these men are not afraid of asking for help. They are willing to do the work internally that leaves them better equipped to handle the external work, the stuff most people see, with more confidence, more direction, more focus, and more clarity. Which further reinforces their vision, purpose, and process to create a legacy they can feel proud of and beneficial for the future.
Let’s say you resonate with what I said above, the next thought may be, “What are the most common reasons someone might think about getting a coach?”
Rarely do men search a coach because everything is falling apart (though it can happen). More often than not what I’ve noticed is that men usually have an area that they really feel stuck in. An area that pains them enough to say “I need help or I want help to get rid of this obstacle.”
Here are the 4 areas that seem to really drive this decision to search for a coach.
Most of my coaching clients are married men that have leadership positions at in their corporation or are business owners. They tend to have been athletic and played sports in the past and want to get back to that but injury or life seems to have gotten in the way. They or their family were immigrants or have that immigrant tenacity. They rarely tend to be the alpha male warrior archetype but show up more as the magician or lover archetype. They have no problem being physical but prefer to confidently express themselves in a thoughtful manner. They value growth and the process. The journey is as important as the destination for them.
In the social landscape coaching can seem confusing to people from the outside. Some of the common assumptions people make about coaching are the following:
I believe that coaching is a gift of leverage and perspective and an avenue for clarity and direction in life. My driving philosophy when I coach can be summed up with these 3 words - Purposeful Powerful Legacy. I believe that when men are intentional about living out their best legacy they will positively impact their family, community and in essence the world at large. I believe that in order to make this a reality men must get clear on what their vision for that legacy is, the purpose that will drive them to live it, the process that will get them to fulfill it.
Working with each of my clients is personal for me. It matters to me that my clients have the best space, environment, and experience to consistently show up as the best version of themselves. It matters to me that my clients feel heard, safe, and stretched from their comfort zone during coaching sessions. This sets the stage so that by the time we are done with our session they feel clearer, focused, and excited to move forward.
The way I am able to provide this experience for my clients is by framing the session prior to starting to include what they should expect, what is acceptable and what is not. This provides a very clear process for discovering the direction, answers, or clarity they are looking for. Then I review our previous call, and ask them if they’d like to continue that conversation or if there is something more important we need to address at the moment? I believe it is important to meet my clients where they are today so that we can forge ahead together confidently. In my experience you can have the most amazing vision or want to achieve certain goals but the twists and turns of life can shift your priorities for the moment. It is important to address them then so you don’t continue to drag that anchor around as you pursue your vision or goals.
Here is what is don’t do in coaching:
I don’t belittle or scream at you like a drill Sergent. I believe screaming is usually a poor substitute for clear communication. I am not there to belittle you but to lift you up. I am not there to give my opinions but help you peel back the layers and find your truth, your light. Our coaching session aren’t a ra-ra session, though you may feel motivated, I find it more beneficial for you to be clear so you can confidently act instead fight your way through life. I am not there to tell you how great I am or what I have accomplished. Again this isn’t about me but about you. I am there to help serve you and support you. I am not there to hold you accountable. You are an adult and you decide what you do and don't do.
I hear it often, “How can a person achieve a breakthrough from just talking?”
By setting a time to talk you also set a none threatening space to process what you are going through and how to move forward through it. Here is an analogy that may help. You know when you walk into a dark room. In order to see you need light. You can start opening the curtains of the windows to let light in. The more windows you open, the more light enters. You could also turn on the lights. This is instant and effective. When we talk we essentially pull open the curtains letting in light into an area in your life that was previously dark. As we continue down that process we eventually find the light switch and things become clear. That clarity, that turning on the lights, is what people often refer to when they are speaking about a breakthrough.
Some of the things my clients find valuable is when at the end of our sessions I ask for their biggest take aways and where they are most clear. This helps them reflect and package the things that stood out for them. It also helps me better understand what they’ve gotten from our time together. After, I have them set their action plan and prioritize it. Then we review it and agree upon it. This makes it more likely they will follow through because not only did they create that action plan we formally agreed to it. I re-enforce that if they get stuck or need some clarity as they are executing their action plan to text me or call me so I can help them move forward with their agreements.
When working with me you can expect to discover a certainty on your values and beliefs. This is important because they become the map and compass to ensure you are acting in all areas in your life in alignment with the best version of you. You feel more aligned with why they are here on this world and as a result become a better man, husband, and father. You will improve your health, relationships, and business. You become a better man because you gain clarity in your values, beliefs, vision, purpose and process. You improve your health because you implement progressive plan that focuses on micro habits. You improve Your relationships because you approach it from a place of service and love instead of as a consumer. Your business improves in fulfillment because you view it through the lens of your values and legacy.
I promise that my approach will focus 100% on helping my clients purposely create their ideal LEGACY, instead of just get to the end of their life and realize they had more to live for.
I strive to push the constraints of their current vision to reveal what they are capable of.
I refuse to let my clients show up less than they are capable because they go back to old patterns that weren’t serving them.
I promise that I can help my clients discover adventure in each aspect of their life in order to give them the mos impactful experiences.
I strive to push their perceived limits, mentally and physically, with unique opportunities to challenge their current beliefs on what is possible.
I refuse to let my clients ignore the beauty, possibility, and growth available when in the presence of adventure.
I promise that my words and actions will stem from love, light, and as a creator to best servie my clients ethically and powerfully.
I strive to help my clients align more fully with the best version of themselves to create the greatest legacy for themselves and their family.
I refuse to let my failures define my progress but use them as data to make me clearer and stronger.
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Armando has an extraordinary ability to listen... but listen to what's not being said. I value that a lot. He has a way of making you feel comfortable while asking you difficult questions. Working with him is inspiring.
Dr. Jessica Morrod
Business Coach | Master NLP Practitioner
"Armando is very inspiring, very courageous. He’s given me clarity on different things in my business and life. He makes simplicity, simple. If you spend any amount of time with him you will know what I mean. Thanks Armando, you have been a star."
World Class Coach | Entrepreneur
Armando is great at bringing out the best in everyone he comes in contact with. His ability to listen, analyze, and give back is unsurpassed. Armando helps you find the right direction and gives the guidance to bring out the best in you."
Owner of Tough Love Fitness